Pursuing Hapiness

My life has completely changed. I was inspired to read a book because of xiaxue's post. It was about a book called 'The Secret' by Rhonda Byrne.

This one book has changed my life's perspective within few minutes of reading it. Let me explain to you how was my life. :)

Since i was small, I have this overflowing confidence that I will always get what I want. I don't care how, i never bother to think whether it's really necessary, I only know and understand one thing. 'I will get it'. So basically I grew up with this principle. I don't have any reason why I really believe on that thought, the only reason I could came up with is because 'I am Stephanie'. Call it vain, overconfidence, self-absorb, or anything you like, but it is something that I always believe in. Yes, since I was young. Probably when I was in Primary 1 LOL.

So.. I can say I grew up getting everything that I could possibly want. That makes me believe even more. When I want something, like going on vacation or getting brand new phone nobody has, clothes, winning lottery, or anything, I will be determined and I know that i would get it. And I always did. I never thought of this specifically.. I would think that it's just my luck and whenever I get haters I would brush them off with 'Sucks to be you' :).

But I had this problem of being angry out of the sudden. I'm rarely sad, but I always get angry, pissed off, annoyed to possibly everyone. You can say that I'm always grumpy or cranky. I have so many things to be grateful for, but for me everything is just not enough. I kept on being greedy and wanting more and more until it tires me. I realized few months ago that I was tired mentally, I've had three depressions for months on 2011, I had suicidal thoughts, to be honest I put myself into hellhole. And that was when I'm 16 years old.

I was never bullied, I was the bully. I was never mocked, disrespected or anything, but I always torture people mentally. I was always on the top in my class, getting award, etc, but somehow my happiness only lasts for few days.. or even hours. I have power among my friends, basically I have that alpha status. But with all that, I still lack happiness.

The moment I learned about the secret, I was transformed. I've learned that it's actually my thoughts that shapes things around me. I've realized that I believed that getting something will make me happy. That does not make me truly happy. I've realized that all these time I kept on thinking that everything is still not enough. Thus, by the law of attraction, it is never enough for me. I've also learnt about the law of attraction, how does thoughts become things, etc.

But the most important part is.. I've learnt to be grateful and happy about my life. There are so many things to be grateful about that it's basically endless. The moment I've learnt about The Secret, I changed how i think. I learnt to be an optimistic and happy person. Now, I'm not the grumpy old steph anymore, I am and will always be happy :). Happiness brings great things into my life. And I'm looking forward for greater things to come :).


XO, Steph.

p.s this is my little bundle of joy ^^

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